Never linger in the past

Sept 29 2011 9:26am. It's almost a year since I've updated the blog. Time flies. Never expect that I would come back to this place again, but it feels like the only place a person can throw their heart feelings into black and white.

The past is haunting me again. Is this because of the feeling that you're going to go after someone? or like someone? Whatever that is, I'll just take the experience, please keep away these unwanted things from my brain. I'm tough from head to toe, the only weakness I have is only my mind.

After I gave up, now it's still coming back. I guess what I need was closure after all. There is still the feelings lingering inside, it needs to show but guess this won't be an easy battle after all. Now a new leaf has turn.

A year ago, I've got my personal issues. Is not like I don't want do anything but I just need to stop doing what I wanted to do. Sacrifice are not the easiest thing to do. Right now, everything is solved and I can just do what I want now. Give me time~

I won't even start...

4.09am. 1st day of November. Time flies like dandelions being blown into the sky.

My 1st time celebrating Halloween. Ain't anything special. Organize by church committee people so I guess there is no complain on how the food really sucks. If I've known it was organize by church i would just don't go for the party. Guess next year I'll be going to UPR to celebrate it there, more fun with more people around there than with a lot bunch of kids. Costumes and beer together in one. Now that's fun!!

Last 2 nights, me and my 2 monkeys friends went out for dinner, after that we decide to go gaming for an hour or 2. Kinda like a thing to us already but it's just for 2 hour max. Anyways, on the way to pick up my brother at home, they decide to headbutt my LED lamp and break it. Dumbasses! there goes the 30bucks.... fly away**~~

Nowadays i feel like an empty shell without a soul, i feel the fire in me just gone just like that. Don't know what's wrong with me nowadays. Like a puppet being controlled by people and move around the world without noticing and a thing. Sadly, if i can, i wish i can live alone in my own house and rely on myself more. Getting sick and tired relying on people. When you need help, friends are just to give support, best buddies are there to kick people butt if they mess with you. But there is always a limit to things we do.

The sky is the limit. That's what i heard. When you're in love, there is really no limit what you can do for the person, if she likes romantic restaurant, you will google and search maps for the best spots to take her out to. If she likes ice-cream, you will buy the biggest scoop of ice-cream in haagen-dazs and watch her smile while she is eating that scoop. If she love cutes stuff toys, you will buy the biggest one that you can afford and the stuff toy will resemble her personality.

If she's the blur type, Snoopy...

If she's the silent type, Hello Kitty...

If she's the wild type, Garfield...

If she's the clumsy type, Winnie the Pooh...

etc...

By and how means, you just wanna satisfy her life and give her the best you can. Even if you can't afford a fancy restaurant dinner. There is always an alternate choice. If you don't have a lot cash you can spend. Why not hand cook a steak and light up some candles right infront of a public beach? Steak cost not more than 20 bucks unless it's sirloin. Hey, you don't have to be shy, so what if people are watching you two having steak on a beach with candles. They might be right there envy you for what you did for your love one. That shows a guy passion towards the lover.

So for me. I won't even start.... until I really know I really like the person, I don't wanna do the same mistaken I did in my past. Like the 2 scar on my forehead. It will be there until the day i decompose as fertilizer in the soil. Once the fireworks has been lit again in my heart. I'll be the usual me that treat her right again.

My fate? Or just unlucky me?

It's 5.01am now.... Can't sleep, my mind has been spinning me for 2 days straight and the total hour i slept for 2 days are less than 14 hours. And later I got an extra class to attend at 10am.

Felt that my fate isn't very good at all. In terms of family and friends, I'm consider happy and very fulfilling that i've got alot family love and friends. Am i a rusher ? Sadly to say, i just wanna know people more. My style is, i like to call people out and just know the person more. Just like to be more formal and sincere =)

Guess people that don't know me well, won't really know me. Maybe time will tell how my future gonna end up. Maybe another nightmare or just another fairytale. Hope it isn't another drama, already sick and tired of drama. Took me bloody 1 year plus to just cool from those triangle love drama.

I just want a peaceful, non-hectic life. There surely gonna be problems but I dun mind facing it, like the drama i had a year plus back. It really mold me into a different guy, a more mature and also not childish kinda person anymore. Hey, if there isn't any ups and down in this life, what's the point of living if everything was so easy.

Just hope that good thing will come into my life soon.

Random!~!~

It's 3.14am now, but i still can't sleep. Hmm, having alot of things in my mind but there is still stuff that can be shaken off. Kinda weird thou, my fate with people i like always has a very bad downside. Yeah, im not a joker but i'm more to a more serious person. But that doesn't mean i'm bad. I know i've got a short fuse that can ignite if you just gently step my tail but that doesn't mean I'm gonna kill you.

Just that, feel kinda sick.. Why do the people that i don't like and just wanted to be friends with somehow can like me? I'm not attractive nor handsome. Girls that I come to have interest with, they either take advantage on me or just drill a hole in my heart.

The last one, already gave me a huge impact and blasted my heart into countless shards. I think I've lost alot of my confident, sometimes now, even if i like the person. There is a part of me that is afraid that I will get the same treatment like what the last one did to me. Although I already forget about the so called "drama" i've been thru. But it really hits me hard. Right now you readers might think I'm such a pussy but, I'm not a playboy nor likes to go in groups of girls. The fact is that, I'm very loyal to the person i like. Sad and ironic huh

Insomnia or dilemma

Guess this doesn't have to do with anything I've written in the title. Well, ever felt like liking a person but you can't get a reaction on the person. Kinda sad isn't it, but sometimes it's also the liker fault too.

Feel kinda stupid to write this now, when he's with her, he felt happy but in a way also felt kinda sad. Maybe because the guy have no confident in himself. The girl is pretty and funny and all but the guy seems retarded somehow, just dunno why.

Sits there, looking at the ceiling, daydreaming. Maybe the guy need some strong encouragement or something just to snap his person make to life again, the guy feels like a zombie. Doing the same thing over and over and over again.

For the girl, she is great thou. The guy, need to start boosting his self-confident and do what ever is necessary so that he may go after the girl he likes.

Guess the guy needs to let go what ever past hurt, scare, humiliation and etc. Just move forwards and do what he felt like doing, for at least now. I mean, who doesn't afraid to get hurt badly. I've had my drama love story which is so freaking complicated that it scar my mind.

Things that had happened must be keep as an experiences and not a burden for our ownself. Carry the experiences, leave the burden behind, be a wise person

Poem (Chapter 1)

The sight of you makes me faint,

In my world that rain,

Without heart love will fade,

Because you light up my pretty fate.

My desire for you still flows,

Even thou it's already in frown,

The history of you and me is still fresh,

Like it was happen on last feverish fri.

Why do you still cling in my mind after the months,

For I wants you in my arm,

Hold you,

Pat you,

Cuddle you,

Spoil you,

And shall I quote that,

I still wants you,

For you are still the moon that shows me the path in my darkest night,

The stars that accompany me in the lonely twilight.

Writer: Irwin

(Update d ler Eefuulyn)

Why the dream??

Last 2 weeks ago, i dreamt about you.....

After so many long months, i thought that wouldn't never happen but what the heck?

Dreamt about you not only once twice but 3 times... Is it a sign of something? I'm not thinking of you while i'm doing my daily routine but how come you keep coming in... felt weird... I still remembered you told me you will love in my next life..

I hope my next Irwin better go tackle you if not im gonna haunt that dude for the rest of his life!

hehe =P

World of Warcraft again!!

Well, it's been long since i wrote on my blog and I'm sorry that i can't blog for a whole year due to my studies and personal life. But I'll try to blog as much as possible now...

So the topic of today is.... the world most famous and ranked number one MMORPG game of all....

*drum roll*............................................ tada..............................

World of Warcraft!

Yes... this game is da bomb... and i mean da bomb.. bom... it's like nuke to atomic bomb...

Anyways, been playing this game ever since i was form 4 so it's was kinda addictive, but i tried to control myself. for now... wish my luck in my exam later, it's another 5 more hours till my exam but i got a feeling it's not gonna be tough...

Adios~

Story of a boy & a girl Part 2

This 2 person later participated in a marathon, actually Alvin doesn't have the heart to join the marathon but well he wanted to accompany her so he force himself to go. Then later the forms was handed to her best friend so our names was on the list. The marathon shirt was bright orange, i mean seriously bright. In fact, for me is the most ugliest shirt ever on my whole life, but was the heck with it. so Alvin just wore it on that day. The day before the marathon, theyall hang around their friends hostel, they all were having a great time in there and the time was only around 11am. Then Alvin went to a spare bed there since no one was sleeping, and had a nap. Irene kept disturbing him, she thought that he didn't notice that she was disturbing me so he turn around and grab her onto the bed and tickle her. Alvin even took a soft toy beside the bed and tease her with it. It was a fun night, and she just lay on the bed with him awhile.

The night before all these things happen, Alvin was on a date with Irene. They went to a half restaurant half cafe and have dinner. The food wasn't bad. After that, they went to Irene friends hostel, her friends wanted to go to the beach side because one of them had a heartbreaking moment then. He sat there and look at them getting partially drunk. It was funny but at the same time kinda sad for them too. Here Alvin thought it was going to be a happy day but there her friends was getting sad and down. One of the girls get totally drunk that time and say some funny words. So that was the time we must send her back. So her friends send them back home that time. Then Alvin asked Irene if she wanted to go to the beach and have a night walk on that cold breeze and humid place. She agree so they when there. The time then was around 2am in the morning, first they went to the beach nearby playground. There were one couple there too that time, so they went to the other corner, they talk stuff like family, friends and etc. After that they went down to the beach and sit on the sandy beach. The wind that time was cool and felt nice. Irene was singing a song that time, her voice was nice, smooth and easy to listen. She was singing a song called "Silent" in chinese. When she was singing, Alvin realised that beside him, there were alot of white sea shells, so Alvin took all of those white shells and start making a heart shape, after he done placing the shells. He then call Irene to look at the shells. Alvin then draw a initial of her on the sand. There was a moment of silent then, after that Irene said that she was tired and wanted to lie down on something. Alvin just directly say 'if you want, you can come over here and lay down'. She then came over to Alvin and lay her head on his shoulder. She then start singing her songs again.

After sitting on the beach awhile longer, they head back home. Alvin then fetch her back to her house. On they way back, there was a police blocking. The police then block them and the police disturb Alvin, one of the policemen then when to the passenger seat there and wanted to disturb Irene that time, Alvin just say in a loud voice 'don't you disturb her!'. The policeman then told Alvin he won't do any harm to her just wanted to check her identification card and call Alvin not to worry. After all the things is settled and Alvin give him the money. They were free from the police and Alvin then sent her home safely. After that they chat on the MSN after Alvin got home.

Okay now, back to the marathon story. The marathon starts around 6am in the morning but they arrive at the destination like 1am in the morning. They hang around the beach side there. It was a human-made beach that is located at the biggest shopping mall in Penang island. They all hang there and play games like 'true or dare'. There were alot of amusement there and they even went to the nearby mamak shop for a very late night supper then. After that it was already 3am in the morning. The full marathon runners were all very fit. A celebration were held like lion dance and shows for on before the runners began to run. After that the marathon began.

By 5am, everyone was already tired from the fun we had, we were all sitting on the side of the run half asleep. Alvin and Irene was on the roadside sitting there and daydreaming and resting before the marathon even started.

(Part 3 coming soon...)

Story about a boy & a girl (Part 1)

This is a story about a boy, let's give him a name and he's called Alvin. Alvin was a typical normal guy but kinda plump but tall. He has been studying this college for sometime now. Alvin was taking this math class at college in his 2nd semester. But after a few day, Alvin came in class early and sat behind the 4th row in the class with his college friend. This girl with long straight dark hair, very fair white skin came in the front door of the classroom. Alvin was looking at her with great interest, Alvin then turn to his friend beside and asked him if the girl was pretty or not. His friend shake his head and say not really, so Alvin wasn't really convinced that time so he goes on with his normal life.

So after a few weeks and after the mid term exam was over, Alvin got a pretty bad result. The lecturer wasn't very please with his result so she changed the places of every student on the class. Alvin was very lucky, he was switch to the front row and he sat beside the girl that he admire far from behind. He was shy at first because there isn't anything that he can talk to the girl so he kept quiet for a few weeks. One day, that girl spoke to him and smile at him, he was kinda delighted that the girl spoke to him and they introduce each other. Let's give the girl a name... Hmm... Irene. So Irene was asking Alvin what his name was, Alvin said his phone model name making her laugh, so for the few weeks then she was making fun of Alvin with the phone model name. Alvin was gradually building interest in her. So whenever she online in MSN. Alvin will try chat with her. They will chat and one day Alvin found out that she had a boyfriend, but that doesn't really concern Alvin because he only had interest in her that's all so he continue chatting with her.

One day on October, Alvin birthday was coming soon, he was planning on doing a small birthday part with his friends. So he invited his friends to a restaurant. Alvin then suddenly thought about Irene and he start chatting with her and asking her if she want's to come to the restaurant and celebrate together. That night, Alvin got Irene number and the next day he go pick her up at her house. This was the first them they went out together. That night both of them are having a very fun night together, they even talk and jokes with everyone that comes. It's was a very happy moment. When they finished the food and slice the cake. Alvin's friend was all going home and left Alvin and Irene together, Alvin offer her if she want's to watch movies, but she said it was late so it's better to go home that night. So they went home that day happily and smiles on their faces.

Soon their relationship was blooming like a flower, when the semester was over. Alvin was gradually calling her at night and they will talked from either 11pm or 12am till 3am or 4am. Almost everyday they will talk that time. They keep sharing stuff with each other, they also went out together for dinner and stuff that time. Alvin though that he was slowly falling in love with that girl. So like every boys around the world, he tries to get her attention everytime he saw her. There was always laughter and smiles when those two are together. They will talked and jokes like there is endless smile and laughter practically everyday. Alvin was very happy that time.

( Part 2 coming soon..... )

Heart of my confession.....

I love you now... I dunno how it happens...
You make me happier than anyone else...
The first day I laid my eyes on you...
I already told my friends that you're pretty...
I don't care my friends opinion..
I know that now you're in relationship...
I'm not making you to choose between me and you guy...
But I will wait for you... Even it takes me a long time...
Everytime i saw your face... I'm brighten by a light...
Smile, laugh, fun...
I don't wanna see you cry anymore...
I don't wanna see your tears touching the floor...
I don't wanna see the frown on you white snowy skin...
I just wan you to smile like you always do...
Laugh like you always do...
People never say before you're pretty....
Because they dunno you yet...
You're pretty towards my eye...
Don't mind what other people thinks about you...
I don't need an answer so soon... I just need you to think about it...
Because I love you... Deeply, Truly and Madly..

Crazy Pasar malam xD

Tonight was the most funniest pasar malam ever! My friends kelvin n vern was walking around with me finding things to see, den i just stop by a sunglasses vendor n just try on a few... lol, they started trying too n in the end they r the one who bought it...

The retards with sunglasses at night xD

Another retard photo of them...

Then something unexpected begin right after i belanja them drink luo han guo =P, they were holding hands like a gay couple n walk all around the pasar malam... u can see the vid of them down there later...

Darren...

Kelvin.... ( childhood friend )

Vern ( idiot KL friend =P )

And this is the retard video...although is kind blur but still, enjoy the stupid show =P

That's all for tonight pasar malam =P....
chaoz~~~

My 18th birthday =)

It's was my birthday on the 4th of October.... Haha... and it's been long since I last update my blog... So this was my 18th bday.. My camera man was Katz and Liang... but too bad the picture were kinda little but I'm still happy =)... Wow, they even bought my a cake... so 'touch' =P.... tien hong, pei wen, eling, katz, liang and hock were all there... it's a happy day for me =).. thanks for the memories guys =D

Katz y ur face sot sot de xD

Me & Eling ( my smile weird man =.=)


Wish you were there xD....


Time da pluck the last candle...


Strawberry feeding time =P ( luckily the good part wasn't this )

Fun day, this will be a day to remember by... My 18th Birthday... Was from a dream change into reality...

Disted set lunch xD!!!

Yesterday monday, my friend xue liang n i finished class we went to disted to pick up our friend Jason, jason was a long long lost friend of mine ( lost for 2 years only =P ), when i was there xue liang give me a tour around disted college, he was a ex-student there, before i can finish my tour jason finish his class, after that we went to queensbay for a walk n to wait Eugine. imagine a house with everything in there but only dun have people walking around, it was around 11am, the mall was so quiet... we walk for 1 hour, kinda bored actually but it was nice talking to jason again. The arcade in QB got no one in there, talking about day of the dead. After that we head on to disted again for our set lunch when eugine was ready...

Eugine & Jason having their spagetti & chicken~~


Cheers to you~~

And now for the leng zai of the week~~~~
this prize will go to~~

Ben~~

For those of you who doesn't know ben, he is cool guy, quiet, soft spoken fellow. Be a friend with him you wont regret a thing, his word of wisdom will surely get u back on your feet xD. Hail God ah Ben xD

Day of sparkle & most boring day

the prom night was something to remember with, well for most of us it's kinda nice except the lame dance show, the hotel, setup, music n the atmosphere was just perfect. The most hated part is the prize giving time, it keep going n going non-stop, i got bored n take a walk with my friends afandi n singh. we tour around the 5 star hotel ( RM5 for parking at this 5 star hotel =.= ) floor by floor, it was a huge hotel, although it's only 3 storey but the corridor is damn long man.i didnt reli take alot pic there. but it's still very nice ler =)

me & liz ( isn't she beautiful )

now back to school life, so to let everyone know that school got how many leng zai, this is the pic of them =P

Michael xD ( cute rite =P )


Cavan ( why so serious xD )

i think that's all i have ler, i be sure to take the next pictures of all the leng zai & coming soon r the leng lui. My bro now go on his so called camping, i'm alone at home so damn boring, even must do good boy study cause of this boredness...

so guai must study...

see ler, no choice ler so bored, bro not at home means lone walker liao, now i know how is it feel to be a only child in this world. so boring no one to talk to. my cousin n my bro not here r i think i sure bored to death wan... see him sleep so nice..

dunno wat is he dreaming till smiling wan...

now must study again, so bored, cant event do a thing. but wat the heck at least i own the whole room for 3 days without anyone bothering me xD.. till den.. chaoz~~

Fun in the Room~~

yesterday was a nice day, all my friends, sean, nixon, katz and hock go hijack a classroom xD, but it's for a good cause i think =P. Nixon and hock bring their laptop to college today and we try to get in a empty class cause yesterday was a humid day, day of sweating like waterfall man =.=we are all trying to finish our assignment, the best thing is that hock not only bring his laptop but also a printer O.O... hardworking guy must giv him credit liao ( steal his laptop xD.... jk )

Sean n Nixon
Dunno got wat so interesting in tat latop =P

Hock & me ( rajin leh xD )


This is us working hard =P

too bad katz is the camera man, cant take a picture of him that day but the main thing everyone pass up their assignment ler. Later tonight I'm attending my college prom night, dunno nice or not also just im just guessing. i bought my shirt jor but i think it's abit plain in the other hand nice ( guys got how many types of formal shirts =.= all same only )

normal cloth like ''Rain'' wear de ler =P

Im going to take alot pictures of the prom, cross my finger hope that it's nice if not next year wan mayb dun wan go liao lu... until den, thx for supporting my blog ya =)

IT class... boring leh =P

It was any other monday that we need to face our classes so early in the morning 8.30, why can't they just made it afternoon so that we can sleep like pigs xD. IT class was just boring ler, nothing much also wan, hear teacher yapping only, virus la, firewall la. Just wish can set a ''firewall'' around the lecture so he cannot come near us with his cold jokes. Seriously leh, very cold lor, only he himself can laugh nia. My IT lecture =.=

I left his class early 15min so that I can just take a break from his freezing jokes, dunno how he get his wife also =.= See my friends also wanna sleep edi...........

pity them xD

only 1 guy nia having fun in the class and that it michael, always having fun =) , always hang around college and just having tons of fun it's always michael, no need study also get good results and I must say he likes to flirt with girls xD

Happy guy and also charming rite xD

Now leh, everyones is happy, cause when after class hor, they all quickly pack their bags and run straight towards the door.

Ah hock and Katz smiling =)

They should have come out early abit next time if his jokes are getting too boring or icy cold. Next time i take a vid of him teaching, sure all turn ice wan xD....